we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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