he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
