I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize