Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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