It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
