I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
