That's intense
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
