i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
