It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
