That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Randomize
