your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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