My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
