So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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