YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize