Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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