i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize