Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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