Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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