If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
