honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
