I think I am morally bankrupt
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
