i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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