you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
