she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
