Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
