He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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