These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
