Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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