hotel room ftw
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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