Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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