Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
