Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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