2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
