I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
