he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
