i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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