I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
