the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize