you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
