We're like a lot better than the average bears
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
