Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
