he was CRYING into my vagina
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
