I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
