i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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