It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
