So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
