I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who died my cat blue again?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
