omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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