I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize