We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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