My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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