never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
