Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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