You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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