before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize