I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
