i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
