Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
