thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize