I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
