They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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