I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
