ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
