I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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